Since the beginning of the year, I’ve been nervous about doing the Seattle to Portland (STP) bike ride. Despite training pretty regularly every Sunday for a larger ride (we just hit our 50 mile mark in a single ride, as a group!), I’m still feeling pretty uneasy about the 125 mile goal for Day 1 of the 2 day ride. With all of the cycling in the last few months, my body has started to change. Some days I feel great about it, and other days frustration gets the best of my emotions.
One thing that I didn’t – but should’ve – expected to happen with all the training was slimming down in some places and growing in others. As someone who has always been pretty self conscious about having thunder thighs (no one tells you this is what would happen if you grew up skating and swimming!), I can’t say that I am 100% thrilled for my thighs to have grown again from biking. One part of me was excited when I first noticed the change because it meant that all the uphill cycling was finally building muscles! The other part of me was like, “damn girl, my favourite pair of jeans feel like sausage casings and my thighs are about to burst out.” (How’s that for visuals? haha)
peplum top: H&M via Kim’s closet
sleek pocket dress pants: c/o SlimSation (exact)
cutout flats: Chocolat Blu
The seams of my favourite pair of jeans haven’t popped, but the body changes are making me rethink a lot of my wardrobe (again). This year was started off on a mission to minimize and distill down to a smaller number of pieces, but I’m now having to rethink my wardrobe and buy new pieces to accommodate the shift in body changes.
Dress pants are a big nervous spot for me. While I’m used to wearing a lot of stretchy, legging-like pieces to work (yep, these Betabrand Dress Pant Yoga Pants are still a top fav), I’ve been finding myself gravitating more towards straight leg dress pants lately to mentally balance out my figure from hips to ankles. It feels so ridiculous to type all of this out, but I’m more self conscious of my body now than ever. Being so unfamiliar with its current shape makes me feel confused– like I don’t know how to feel good about the skin I’m currently in.
Originally, I had hoped to do a review post of these sleek pocket dress pants from SlimSation, but not realizing how much my body has changed, I’m not sure I’m doing these pants justice. Personally, I feel awesome in these pants and love they way they fit on me (nicely fitted in the thighs and loosely throughout the rest of the leg), but the way they look on me look nothing like on the model. Looking at this photo, the top half of the pants definitely make me look slimmer and the 4-way stretch material didn’t make my thighs feel like they were trapped in sausage casings. The bottom half, while I personally love the way they look, aren’t particularly in line with the skinny fit shown on the model.
All in all, I’m super jazzed about these pants for work and excited that they’ll still fit comfortably if my legs decide to keep growing as training continues. I just want the body changes to settle sooner than later so I can start learning to love it and dress it again, y’know? It feels weird to not know my own body shape or what shape it will net out to be after all this biking is done.
Sorry for the novel-length post on a Friday filled with personal ramblings on body image. It’s been a tough topic for me to personally come to terms with and I’m hoping that typing it out helps me cope with it moving forward.